"i love you, but let go of me dear- i'm just a ghost that you can never really hold
i have no soul, i'll hurt you; i'll be cold
you only deserve the best none the less there's just one thing i want you to confess
does you heart beat faster when you see me? do i give you a feeling; the kind like you're free?
don't speak to me again we'll only love in silence. don't think of me again we'll never form an alliance."
and with brittle bones i replied
"don't talk to me that way" i softly cried
"i'll be there for you i'll risk my happiness
you're the only one i think of. without you i'm a mess."
"i take you for who you are; even if you have no money no home or a car
with me you'll never have to fear; we'll get through this listen to me dear
i'm a ghost too, wandering through the air
i'm just a body with skin and hair
we'll rebel against the world together
for together is a way we'll be happy forever."
jakarta 02/02/2012
here is something i wrote early february. everything i write is almost always something i went through. this poem that i wrote was for someone that i was actually infatuated with. it's a complicated story but bottom line is; i had fallen for a druggie and that's the worst thing that could happen because i never knew his whereabouts. until now, i never know how he felt about me. you know it's funny; what people can do to you. how people can be strangers so quickly. it's funny how i think i liked the idea of him but i quite despised his personality. he's rude and he treated me like shit but i didn't care. he was intelligent though; and had a very adamant and strong opinion on things. he'll be a good philosopher. he was a songwriter and also quite a poet himself. (i'm writing about him with past tense because he is; the past). honestly all i ever wanted to be was a friend but i can't even have that. he's much too busy destroying himself to be a friend to anyone. this is sad.
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